What I have seenBeing owner and operator of a window cleaning business, and cleaning residential homes. I usually clean the interior windows, while my business partner cleans the exterior windows. I love people and I get a chance to chat and work at the same time. Sometimes they follow me from room to room while we are talking. A while back, in a Wednesday men's group from my church, I discuss what things I see sometimes, in people's homes that appall me. I can't believe some of the things I have seen in professing Christian homes. One time, I needed to use the bathroom. So I go to the restroom and I am about to relive myself when I look down and see a magazine. I saw an immodest dress gal on the cover, and thought to myself, and said out loud, man! Another immodest dress gal. I thought it was a "Cosmopolitan " magazine or something like it. But than I saw the title at it was a "Playboy" magazine. What do you think I did? I ran and fled to another bathroom. I could not believe it. I kept saying to myself; what a fool. I was thinking of the husband and father of the home. What a fool to destroy the home, not love his wife, not protect his wife and children. What is he thinking, or not thinking. I know I have to be careful with the word fool. Jesus had some strong words about calling your brother fool. I have in other homes seen all kinds of posters and pictures. What is really disheartening is seeing the girls rooms full of pictures of immodest, non-feminine appealing gals that they want to imitate. And raunchy indecent music blaring. My heart saddens, then I think where is the father? Does he even care? In the past year I come home complaining to my roommate, where are the men? How can fathers idly stand bye while the world dictate the thoughts and actions of their precious sons and daughters? We live in a feminized world, where most of the men seem like cowards.
I have cleaned windows of families of my home church and it has been, an all together different experience. Just a sweet aroma, of fostering godliness and holiness. But even in my home church , (this might get me into trouble), the ladies seem to me a bit stronger than the men in leadership in the home, and in understanding and appreciating good theology. Maybe I am wrong. Two Sundays ago a sweet kind older married lady came up to me and asked me a theological question "what is covenant theology". She was directed to me by someone else. It was a good question. I enjoyed answering her question. But afterward I thought perhaps, it would of been better and wiser for me to tell her in a tender kind way, to go ask her husband. (1 Cor 14:35) So if he knew the answer great, if not perhaps it would provoke him to learn, and therefore grow in understanding. And her to grow in respect toward her husband.
Lord willing if I am ever married, I will not be ruling and reigning with an iron fist, but with God's grace of enablement I will lead. We men need to be men, isn't that profound? A month ago I asked a friend if he could think of any TV shows from the past to the present, that put Fathers in a good light. That Fathers were leaders, not pansies, not viewed as buffoons, not knowing what is going on in the house. Can you think of any? Not many come to mind? Perhaps Charles Ingalls, any others?
Courting or Dating? As a child life can seem pretty big and scary at times. Yet life as a child is usually quite simple. Mom and dad support you; they give you a place to live; they make most of the decisions, and help you make the others. But as an adult, life can be so more complex. When it comes to relational stuff, there are many competing views. I have a truck load of relational books, most of them I have read. And it can quite confusing at times. There is Joshua Harris's famous book "I kissed Dating Goodbye", he promotes group activities. Then there is Joshua Harris's follow up book "Boy Meets Girl", where he talks about meeting, and courting Shannon. He pursued her outside of a group setting. He notice her godly character and asked her out alone, to a bagel shop, if I recall correctly. And he used the "m" word ( marriage), right then and there. So they began courting with the intent of possibly marriage. Then we have Jeramy Clark's book "I gave Dating a Chance", which pretty much speaks for it's self. Doug Wilson's book "Reforming Marriage", and " Federal husband", promotes guys to approach the Father of the girl interested in, not necessarily the girl herself, since she is in most cases under her father's headship. So what's a guy to do? Do the scriptures, which is our only rule of faith and practice tell us men, what way we ought to do about this whole boy girl thing? Well, actually the bible does not have much to say on this matter. Sure there is wisdom to be obtained in these extrabiblical books, and good godly counsel. But primarily we need to walk in the Spirit, trusting in God's providence. Which in some sense can be a bit challenging, since we need to walk by faith and not by sight. Yet, at times, what do we men do with what seems like coincidences, are they the providential hand of God, or are we reading into them? This is where prayer is vital, and deep intimacy with God grows profoundly. Every situation is different, that is why there is no biblical manual on this subject. This causes us to have to lean heavy on God, and to trust him fully.
Group activitiesI think group activities are great. Before attending the church I now attend, I went to a "mega Church", a very large Church of 4,000 or so people. I attended this Church almost everyday of the week. I worked at this Church. They had a coffee house called "The Solid Rock", I practically lived at this Church working on Sundays even sometimes for 16 hours. It was not hard work, I was just a barrista guy. I enjoyed the job, I got to spend lots of time with people and talking to them. I organized get together often. I organized a Christmas caroling group, and we headed out to rest homes, retirement homes, and the shut inns. And a Christmas party afterwards. I organized hiking expeditions, and various activities. My point is to say I got burnt out on being an activities director myself. Trying to get people motivated and staying motivated can be hard work. Being so social can put a damper on focusing on Spiritual disciplines like the basics- prayer and the word. I also saw girls flirting with all the guys, and vice versa. A lot of the girls seemed to like all the attention of the guys, and were competing over it. All that makes me sick. Proverbs 31:11a. Reads " The heart of her husband safely trusts her"...I think gals can prepare and begin this quality of virtue by guarding their heart not to indulge in the desire for attention from each and every guy. Therefore they will seek to please God, and desire a godly man who is faithful and will not play games neither.
Like always I have so much more to say, so I think I will save it for part 3.